Dear Dads

It's hard for me to sum up how I feel about my Dad. Not because I don't have a relationship with him, but because my Dad has always been the #1 man in my life. It's hard for me to put into words the bond and powerful love I have for the man who has ALWAYS been there for me.

As much as Dad has been the most important man in my life, I am lucky to say that I also have a bonus Dad, who has also been there for me.


...and so begins my attempt at describing just what they mean to me. This only skims the surface, as I have been lucky enough to be blessed with them both for many years and through many memories, both good and bad.





My parents divorced when I was 5. Shortly after, my Mom got remarried. I lived with my Mom, but every single Friday afternoon right after school, Dad was there to pick me up. I never truly felt like a child of divorced parents. They always kept the kids as their top priority.

Dad was the one who I have fond memories of, growing up going to the beach with every weekend, the one I called when I just wanted to chat. I'd watch him play basketball at the Halawa gym for hours, when I was in elementary school. From as early as I can remember, we'd put on music in the car-Hawaiian music or the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack in the car, and sing our hearts out. We knew all the words to the songs on Natalie Cole's 'Unforgettable' album, we belted out every song from the movie 'Mermaids'. Every single Sunday, we'd go to the mall and watch a movie together. He was the heart of the family-always putting together Holiday events, being the one to hide hundreds of Easter eggs at the park, or the one buying every single person in our huge family a gift at Christmas.

When I entered high school, Mom moved to Las Vegas from where we lived in Hawaii, and my sister and I stayed behind to live with Dad. He was officially a single Dad with two girls. We definitely had our moments. I grew even more rebellious, I skipped school, spray painted walls, stole cars. Our father-daughter bond was definitely being put to the test. I was a horrible teenager, but I always knew Dad loved me. He tried hard, balancing having a life of his own, and mixing that with being a single Father. His girlfriends and him never worked out. Sometimes I still feel that it was too much responsibility for them to try to help raise my sister and I.

It took a few years and a life changing experience for me to realize just how much I was putting my Dad through, while I was in high school. Throughout all the disappointments, the rough patches, and the good moments, Dad has ALWAYS been there for me. Never judging, always encouraging and always putting his children first. I read through a box of cards that my Dad has given through the years. He has always started off with 'Dear Brat'. I read them and laugh at how impossible I was growing up, I laugh at how I can feel through his writing just how much he has always wanted the best for me. I admit, I was a brat, both in behavior and with material things.

Since I was a baby, I have always ran to my Dad in my time of need. From cuts and scrapes, to friend problems, boy problems, female problems while I was growing up, which has now turned to marriage problems and parenting problems. I have always depended on him to be my rock, and he has always been there, without a doubt, full of love for his oldest child. He was the first one I called when I got my period, when my best friend and I would fight, when my boyfriend broke my heart, when I needed a ride from anywhere at whatever time; the first one I called when I went and got eloped one night, the first one I called when I found out I was pregnant, the first one I called when I knew my marriage was over. He was the first one I told when Mom died. The first one I called when I knew I was falling in love again and the most inappropriate time in my life. The first one I told when I was proposed to again. The first one I call when I'm proud of something my kiddos have done.

Dad is a wonderful grandfather. He never misses a baseball game or a performance. He is loving and always eager to come over to hang out, or have the kids spend time with him.

I'm the one he calls when he wants to just say hello, or to talk to the kids. Not that we talk on the phone much, because he lives right up the street from me. He is still very much a part of my life, and I can never have it any other way.

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As much as Dad has been the most important man in my life, I am lucky to say that I also have a bonus Dad. Mom remarried when I was 6 years old. I call him my Pops. Pops and I had a very rough relationship while I was growing up. Understandably so. He was trying to earn the love of a 6 year old girl whos father meant the world to her. I felt that I had no room in my life for him. Things didn't get better as I got older. He was more strict than Dad. He had higher expectations. He dealt with the homework and the chores, since I lived with Mom during the school week. I never understood why he was so mean.

Not to say that we never had our good moments. We had amazingly wonderful moments. If I wasn't with my Dad, I'd be with Pop's family, who instantly loved my sister and I like their own family. I love and adore Pop's family and have many, many fond memories of them growing up. I can honestly say that I might be closer to Pop's family than any other part of my family (Mom and Dad's).

Aside from all the fond memories with family, Pops and I had our own private moments. Him & I would collect Transformers and GI Joe. He taught me to surf when I was 6 years old, even showing tough love when I would wipe out and get gashes on my back from the coral reef. We'd make up crazy songs and sing them to my little sister (and then my baby brother when he was born).

Pops and my relationship only truly changed when I moved out, got married and had kids. I would be commended at how clean and tidy my house was, and how neatly my clothes were folded. I set high expectations of myself. I realized that trait was from Pops. He wasn't being mean when I was younger, he was teaching me how to be responsible and tidy. I was terribly shy when I was a kid, so Pops would send me alone into the store to buy a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk, to get over my fear of speaking to people. When Mom got sick with cancer, I helped her go through all her old high school keepsakes and love letters through the years. We came across letters that Pops had written her when they first got married. He would always mention just how much he loved my sister and I.

Pops is a wonderful grandfather as well. He instills the same values and teaches the same responsibilities to my kids as he did me.

Pops and Mom were married until the day she died, in the fall of 2004.

He has always been an important man in my family, but he became the most important man to me during that time. I would not have been able to go on through life as I did, if it weren't for him. He stayed as strong as he could for my siblings and I. As Dad is the one I call during most of my strife, Pops is the one I always call when I think of Mom. All I have to do is call him and say, "I miss Mom". He knows.

When I got married to Billy, my Father walked me down the aisle. We danced to Natalie Cole's version of 'Unforgettable'. Pops said the blessing that night, which was just as important as walking me down the aisle. He mentioned Mom in the blessing, and how she was there with us that day. I needed to hear that. He knew.

Dad was the one to be loving, caring supportive no matter what. Pops was the one to practice tough love. Such different parenting styles and personalities, but a perfect blend that I was lucky to have.

Pops and I don't talk much on the phone either, because he lives on the same main street as Dad, just a few minutes away from us. I am very grateful to say that Dad and Pops are still very much a part of my life, and I can never have it any other way.





Dad



Pops

Summer thus far

- Summer's here! We've definitely been soaking up the sun and having a blast! We've been swimming like fish! We have a blow up pool in our front yard, we've been making frequent trips to my Dad's pool which is right up the street from us. We've been visiting hotel pools and having a blast. I love the smell of sunscreen and sunshine.

- I have 4 kids home with me all day Monday through Friday. I keep them on a schedule so as to not get bored. It's been pretty easy. Well, except the day that I had SIX kids home with me.

- Had a lot of photoshoots with family and friends. Of course, I am nowhere NEAR professional caliber and reiterate this fact to everyone who approaches me to take photos of them.

- Been planning our vow renewal ceremony. Got my dress. Well, B bought it after him & I looked at dresses together. Booked the photographer, got my cousin to help me coordinate since I'm doing it long distance. Got the favor maker (she's a local baker in San Diego). We have FINALLY decided on a venue. No Elvis themes in Vegas, no vow renewals before a Nascar race at a Speedway (these were our 2 previous plans). We are renewing our vows near our 5 year anniversary. It will be on the sand at the beach, on Coronado Island, San Diego, next September.

- Summer heat has sporadically kicked in. We have days of 100 degrees, then it cools back down to the 70's. We've planned a few Summer trips-one being a trip alone w/ B to California. We are watching races at Irwindale, then we are going to enjoy the Santa Monica pier. We *may* squeeze in Disneyland. If not, that will be saved for another trip. We also have another trip to Utah in September. We are renting a cabin in the mountains and just hanging out away from home.

- Kai and Jewel have ended their second year at their 'new' public school, once again earning A's & B's, and being on the Honor Roll, every trimester. They are doing exceptional in school.

- Kai is kicking butt in baseball. He had a strike out streak, but he's improved his batting and is back to playing amazing again. He mostly plays as the pitcher, but he likes to play whichever position he is needed. Little League season has just finished, but now he is practicing with the All Star team, which he has made this year.

- Jewel has officially quit Girl Scouts. It was too slow paced for her. She is enjoying gymnastics. Her Dad signed her up for a talent/model search at a local casino last week. She went to the first 'audition' on a Tuesday, and she got a call back for the next day. She was one out of 4 kids that got a call back. She WORKED the runway, and did a little skit on laundry detergent (script for a commercial). The 'judges' enjoyed her and said she had attitude. The night she went back for a call back, they offered her a contract to start classes, etc. Not surprisingly, it was a whopping $1300 every two months, twice a week. Jason and I discussed it and we didn't think it was something we should do. Jewel wasn't particular into the whole thing, so that confirmed our decision.

- Jake is growing like a weed. He is currently heavier than his older sister. At 55 lbs, he recognizes but a few of the alphabets, can recognize numbers 1-10, knows all shapes and colors, and has started recognizing words in books. My next goal is to have him start writing his name. Since we have no plans of putting him in school in the near future, we figured that we can put my degree to use =)

- we've all been social butterflies. The playgroup Moms are a blast. I really feel like they are becoming genuine friends. We hang out at each others' houses, have Holiday get-togethers, and enjoy Girls Night Out IMMENSELY. Jake has been learning to socialize and it's also another step in preparing him for school (whenever that may be).

- the bestie and I have been planning a lot of her wedding. G chat has become our addiction. Katie has most of the major things planned, now we are working out the smaller details. She chose her dress, and we chose bridesmaid dresses on the same day. I took her engagement photos yesterday, and I will share some of them whenever I get around to posting pics =)

- I really miss my friends in other places, they know who they are. Funny how you can become such great friends with people you meet online. I really loved being able to visit Hope in San Antonio. I also was excited when Beth and Christine came and saw us in Vegas. I got to see Abby and her kiddos the other night. She is moving back to Houston. While I am happy that she is able to move back to where her family lives, I will also miss her and her kiddos. I wish we got to hang out and know each other better.

- the kids have been spending a lot of time with family. My Dad has Kai & Jewel sleep over almost every night of the week. He's been off of work for a month or so. He got rear-ended by a police officer, so his neck has been hurting. He's had to go to therapy and also recently got an epidural in his neck to relieve the pain from two herniated discs in his neck. If my Dad isn't with the kids at his house, he is over here hanging out, or at the park watching Kai's baseball games and baseball practice. My sister and her boyfriend are always at our house on Sunday, when they both are off of work. They make it a point to always come see the kids. The kids really look forward to that every Sunday.


- Billy and I are doing great. I am thankful for this man. We just work. Of course, our relationship isn't without 'work', but it's amazing, the level of which we just 'get' each other. I just fucking love him.